He's Here

He's here.

Staring at me.

Through the window.

I
 dont think he can come inside. Thats why he stands at the windows

Now he just waits and stares at me though the side window. I think he has lotss of time to waiste otherwise he wouldn't do that. Sometimes I can 
ignore him but even with teh windows covered I can still feel him stareing at me. It's hard to sleep like that. The other pills are hel
ping though. But the dreams I'm having. Is it still a good nights sleep if I wake up scared and panickeddd?

I wish my cats we're still around. 

I wish my family was here.

I wish I could go home.

The Dreams

I'm in that black void again.

The voice is talking to me. It's weird and distorted.
But I still can't hear anything.

I agree with everything its saying but I'm scared.

Then I'm on the edge of the void, somewhere between a white walled room and the blackness.
I get really scared.
I try to move but I can't.
I'm paralyized.

These arms come our from the void.
They stretch and twist. There must be five or six of them.
They first grab my shoulders, then as I get closer they grab at my back and push me closer.
Just before I get to the void again I can move.
I start to drag my feet. I try to turn and run but the hands have me.
I get dragged into the darkness
I'm terrified.

I woke up, sweating and breathing like I had just run a few miles.
Then I drew this.

The Pain that Comes and Goes

It's been a few days since I got back from the hospital. I still feel like crap though. The medicine doesn't seem to be doing much anymore. Some days feel better and others are really painful. It seems like I keep forgetting things too. But I haven't been outside since I got back so its possible I just have a case of cabin fever.

My neighbor came over a few minutes ago to see how I was. He's such a nice guy. I haven't been here for more than a month and he's checking up on me. We're becoming fast friends. He took such good care of my cats while I was away. Speaking of, they are doing just fine Mom. They keep trying to sleep on my stomach but that's not a good place for them right now. God I missed my pets.

My dreams are getting elaborate too. It might be something that is important to my situation now. So I'm starting to write them down. Usually they all start out the same. I'm in a black void. There is no light and  I can't see anything around me. But I can hear things moving around. Mostly there is this voice. But I can't hear it. It's just...there. Then everything goes white and I end up somewhere else. Usually I'm outside my apartment or in the woods nearby. Everything is black and white like some old movie. I've been waking up in the middle of the night and I gotta take a moment to get myself out of it. Sometimes when I wake up all I can do is draw it out so I have a bunch of rough sketches too. I'll post a few here. If anyone has any psychology or dream analysis skills then let me know if anything stands out. If I can find a particular meaning then maybe I can let them go and get some real sleep.

Thanks in advance,
Katie

In the Hospital

Oh my God. Nothing like a week in the hospital to make you go crazy.

To John, and all of my friends I hope you got this link. This will properly explain what happened. Since I'm kinda dopey from the pain medication here, its probably best if I'm not talking on the phone every three seconds.

The day after I went out with the cats I got all sick I and started bending over in pain. It got so intense that I was yelling into a pillow so as not to freak out my neighbors. Janet, my stepmom, came over and got me to a hospital. We went into the ER and an hour later I was being rushed to surgery. Apparently I had appendicitis. They took the offending organ out of me and now I'm re-cooperating. I've been laying here with marathons of Law & Order: SVU and worlds crazies police videos to keep me company. Dad brought me my laptop yesterday so now youtube is my new friend.

Mom, I just sent you an e-mail with the phone and room number for the hospital sorry about the delay. You can call me whenever. Leave it to me to leave my cell phone at home. I'm still in pain but they are pumping me with antibiotics and pain meds. YAY.

These meds are really messing with my dreams though. I keep having these elaborate dreams of me looking for someone in this Tim Burton like city. When I felt like I was getting close I would feel this real, intense pain. Then I would wake up. But sometimes I have to wake up again because I see this tall man in the far corner of my room just looking down at me. I hope I don't need these too much longer. The meds knock me out but the dreams wake me up. I know some of you do dream analysis. Let me know if you can figure this one out.

They're going to keep me here for a few days yet but I will keep you posted as to my progress.

Love you all,

Katie