Dream 15

I woke up from a bad dream. I don't remember it but I felt like I was fighting something. Like something was trying to get me to move or control me. And I remember the real feeling of griping something hard in my hand. So hard that my had is numb and bruises cover my palm. When I got up I heard something drop to the floor. My cats started hissing and I heard them run away. I took a flashlight I've been keeping nearby and pointed it beside my bed. On the floor was that worry doll.

Sometime last night I got up, walked across the room, got the thing from my jewelry box, and came back to bed. I don't remember doing that. It must have happened in my sleep. 

I don't sleep walk.

That black angel

The black angel from before in the hospital

I  don't know who he is. But he's been watching me for the past three days now. I see him through my windows. Craneing his neck trying to look in further. He can only see so much from the deck window. I'm pinning up towles on the windows and taping the sides. But I know he's still there. My cats will never come home with him there.

I hesitated to say it before. I don't want people to think I'm crazy. But I'm having nightmares and seeing angels wearing black. I don't want to go to a doctor. They haven't been able to help with my pain. How could they help with this?

I don't want to go to an insane asylum. I don't want to be in a room strapped to a bed. Drugged up and drooling for days.

I'm so sick of being in pain.

I just want it to stop.

I found some leftover vicodin from a previous injury. Something I've kept for emergencies. I took three of them. I wanted to take more but I stopped myself. I can't take these other pills. I don't even know what they are. But what if I run out? Will I use these pills? Would they even help? Maybe they would kill me? If I can't leave then I can't get more medicine.

Mom, why?

I just realized something...

I let the cats out today and I decided to spend the last couple hours of daylight siting in the shade outside, reading. I stopped for a second and looked up from my book when I had made a connection.

This thing

She had made a comment on "The Cat's Day Out" about leaving me a gift. Did she mean this thing? Is she saying that she left this around there for me to find? And now I remember, it wasn't just laying around. It was at the bottom of my stairs. Just sitting there perfectly placed where I couldn't miss it. Does Mother know where I live? That's assuming that she actually left this and isn't messing with me. She also said that she hopes it "keeps me safe". Safe from what? Clearly its not from sickness.

Then I thought about my apartment being all messed up. I looked at the photo I took and found two things that don't belong there.

Why would I have this collection of weird name scribbles? I didn't write that.

This second one unnerved me. I started feeling really uneasy as I looked at this. Again I don't remember drawing that. But it looks like the same size and shape as the name one. I don't have any notebooks with that size of paper. My paranoid thoughts are coming back. And they're telling me that someone was in my house without my knowing. But not only that. They we're here, left a mess, and then locked up anyway. Does someone other than me have a key to my apartment? Or worse yet. Did my neighbor give someone the key while I was gone? Did they make a copy? Have they been back since then? I've been so drugged up lately....

I called the police, more than a little freaked out by this. They told me that since nothing really conclusive has happened (ie: no one getting hurt) that they can't do much.
Maybe I'm overreacting. But this is really creeping me out. I called the landlord and left a message with him. I'm going to be taking the necessary precautions to keep myself safe at night. Although I'm not sure how I'm going to get any sleep now. I don't care how much pain I'm in those pills are going in the toilet. I hate them anyway.
I almost threw that worry doll from my deck a few minutes ago. For now I'm just putting it in my jewelry box. Hidden away so I can't see it. I might need it to show the police if anything else happens.
I'm sorry if this scares anyone, but I had to write it down. Mom, I'm okay, I have all kinds of nasty trinkets that I could defend myself with if I need to. Please don't worry too much. I'll call you tomorrow morning.
Katie

The Cat's Day Out

Mom you will love this.

Majestic Opie

Inquisitive Sovy

Princess Dulcet

They LOVE being outside. They are now officially feral cats. And by feral I mean they go about 20 feet from the front door and come back. We went for a little walk in the back woods this morning when it was cool...er. I found this cute little stream with a bunch of big rocks perfect for a picnic. Dulcet was drinking from the stream and Sovy was catching lizards and bringing them to me. Opie spent his time resting in the shade. And you won't believe this but the cats followed me around. I didn't know cats followed people. Would you believe they actually came when I called too? I swear its so funny. 

We only stayed out for a couple hours before I decided to get us all inside again. I think the cats we're happy to. They we're tired and hot with all that fur. When we got back I had to empty the trash and I noticed something odd at the bottom of the stairs.

I thought it was a rock at first. When I picked it up it I could feel it was made of wood. It looks like some kind of worry doll or something. I really don't know. It was a bit dirty so who knows how long its been around. One of the cats probably found it and tried bringing it up the stairs. Its weird but kinda neat. I have it sitting on top of my computer right now.

I'm glad you like the story so far. I know its kinda rough right now but you know me. I try to let the story write itself. It always turns out better that way. Anyway I'm having a bit of a writers block as of late so I'm not sure when I'll have more of the story for you. More time spent finding a job I suppose.

Love you,

KK